Championship Teams
Championship division holds teams working between Open and Premier levels. Some have decades of experience. Others are newer teams developing the skills needed to compete at the top.
Medlock Rapper
Medlock Rapper work diligently throughout the year to keep Manchester safe from the scourge of Ale-Ferrets and Sky-Badgers with monthly rapper tours (The academia behind this magical pest control has been so thoroughly discussed, I won’t bore you by repeating it here). However, they do take a break from their duties once a year to visit DERT, where they hone their skills for another year impersonating the legendary ten-legged Shuffle-Cat, natural predator of the Ale-Ferret.
Mons Meg
Mons Meg are what cutting edge technology once looked like. Mons Meg was created in Belgium – at a cost of 1,536 pounds and 2 shillings. Mons Meg are so heavy that even a team of oxen couldn’t move them more than 5km (3 miles) a day. Oliver Cromwell would later refer to Mons Meg as the “great iron murderer called Muckle Meg” Mons Meg spent 75 years in England, on display at the Tower of London. The Tower’s 1821 guide said, “ of such amazing dimensions that a man may go into its mouth”. (It said nothing about coming out again though) Mons Meg Rapper are a Leith based side so famous that they named a massive cannon at Edinburgh Castle after us. The side comes with a warning, ‘Please do not Climb on Mons Meg’
Newcastle Kingsmen
Like beer mats, you will find the Kingsmen in pubs, on tables, under pints, usually with bits torn off and if they are lucky with a phone number or two on. Once a year they are thrown around the room, they are talked about and a few of them are carried out. Like beer mats, they are of little or no use outside a pub.
Sallyport Sword Dancers
Formed in 1969 and still going strong, Sallyport are deeply committed. What to, nobody knows, although many people say they ought to be. However, traditional rapper dances, plus good pubs with good beer and good floors, do figure somewhere. They also like DERT and are one of the few teams to have never missed one yet.
Shropshire Sharpshins
“I am of Shropshire, my shinnes be sharp”.
Thrales
Spawned from the coal mines of South Middlesex in 1994, Thrales spread culture and enlightenment across the congestion charge zone and beyond.